First of all, congratulations to the many young medical students, soon-to-be residents, and their families who recently found out the results of the 2019 Match! A couple weeks ago was Match Day, a phenomenon that I had thought I might write about but which Lara McElderry of the Married to Doctors podcast and blog did so much more thoroughly than I would have! I highly encourage you to go over to her website and check out her post on the entire NRMP Match process. And while you're there, you can listen to her podcast, including a couple episodes where she interviewed me! Narcissism aside, Married to Doctors is an extremely valuable resource for all people in a medical marriage or partnership, and for the friends and family of doctors who want to better understand the experience.
Reflecting on J's Match reminds me of the moments in its wake when extremely well-meaning people wanted to share their wisdom and advice for this new stage in our lives. The problem was, many of these people were either not familiar with surgical specialties or were not involved in the medical field at all, so not all of the suggestions were equally useful. But what did I know? I was only just learning about what it meant to be a doctor's partner, and I had no clue! So I smiled and nodded and tried desperately to take their advice, only to realize months or even years later that their well-intentioned words may have done more harm than good. If only there had been a resource for them to learn what to say to this new almost-surgical-spouse in their midst...
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It was a Friday, and I had managed to fall dreadfully behind on my Shabbat-prep timeline. Challah was in the oven, but I still had to make the rice, cook the vegetables, and prepare all the toppings for our poke bowl Shabbat dinner, for which a few guests were arriving that evening. And I needed to make dessert but of course I didn't have all the ingredients so I had to run to the grocery store but I also still had to clean up and---
"I'll do the grocery shopping, sweetie. I can see you're getting stressed, so I'll take care of that." *Swoon* J really does know me! And not only did he buy the groceries, but while he was there he also picked up the toilet paper and cat litter we needed. Then he spent an hour chopping vegetables with me, arranged them into beautiful platters, and we hosted a spectacular meal with friends, after which he single-handedly cleaned up. My hero! Unfortunately, my bliss was short-lived. |
AuthorNashira is a music teacher and proud Small-Town Jew who, after surthriving six years in Brooklyn for her husband's surgical residency, is finally back in Wisconsin where she belongs! At least until the end of the two-year surgical fellowship, that is. It's a wild ride, and she's ready to tell you all about it! Archives
September 2019
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