Candle lighting for the last of the fall High Holy Days, Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah, is less than three hours away. Once those candles are lit the holiday will officially begin and I will shut off my computer and phone in order to better immerse myself in my Jewish life and the rituals surrounding the holiday. I will eat large meals with good friends, sing and dance in my synagogue with the Torah in my arms, and nap. A lot.
I have spent a lot of days like this in the last four weeks. Starting with Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, in early September, each week has had one or two such holy days where work stops. How joyous! But the anticipation to these holidays, as many religious Jews will tell you, is filled with stress and a whole lot of running around, trying to get everything ready and clean and set and cooked and prepared and AAAHHHHH! before the sun begins its descent. So as I count down the minutes until candle lighting, trying very hard to remember to breathe and take a moment for myself, I am also saying a little slightly counter-intuitive prayer: "Thank you, G-d, that the holiday season is nearly over!" For each of the last six years, Rosh Hashanah and subsequent month of holidays has brought me both joy and conflict as I try to negotiate the happiness of having a beautiful community with which to celebrate alongside the disappointment when J is unable to join me for much of it. This year, I approached the season with added trepidation, having spent the last five months struggling with my personal religious practice and identity. It manifested itself in doubt, frustration, anger, and the complete inability to sit through a single Shabbat service. I was antsy and felt entirely detached from the text in my prayer book or, for that matter, the people sitting next to me, and I had no idea to whom, or what, I was praying.
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This week we have a special guest post written by my husband, J! We've spent a lot of time over this vacation talking about how precious our time has become with our families throughout residency, and he asked to write about it from his perspective. I hope you all enjoy!
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AuthorNashira is a music teacher and proud Small-Town Jew who, after surthriving six years in Brooklyn for her husband's surgical residency, is finally back in Wisconsin where she belongs! At least until the end of the two-year surgical fellowship, that is. It's a wild ride, and she's ready to tell you all about it! Archives
September 2019
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