My doctor wasn't entirely sure what the scan meant, but she had a plan and reassured us that this would not define our future even if it was overwhelmingly terrifying in our present. I tried to remain calm as I shared all of this with J the moment my doctor left the exam room, and he responded with questions and statements of clarification. What are the numbers? What does it look like? So this is what we do next? Yes, that sounds accurate. Yes, I would agree with that plan. . .
"You're using your doctor voice," I said. "I know," he said stolidly. Then, more quietly, "I need to right now."
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How could I forget about Wisconsin summer mornings? Those soft daylight dawns wafting with lilacs, serenaded by mourning doves, which I always thought were called “morning” doves because they were the first track on the soundtrack of my day. Every morning I stood in the kitchen and watched two love-struck doves coo atop the swing set in our backyard. Sometimes they danced, sometimes they stood still, barely leaning on one another, content. But always they sang. The air is cool enough for long sleeves and the grass is wet with dew. It feels like summer is just heating up anew, a season baked fresh every day. Come early to smell it while it rises, be first in line when it comes out! Here, have some coffee while you wait. My rose colored glasses placed squarely on my nose, I feel the collective summers of my youth. Summer camp, lazy mornings at home, and those days when I mounted my bicycle at 7 am to get to work, they all roll into one beautiful Wisconsin summer morning. The memory is free from extremes of heat and rain, it is not sticky or mosquito-ridden. There is no strife, my life cleansed from the stress of paychecks, breakups, or the vicissitudes of life. I have harvested only the moments that are plump and juicy and come off their branches with a satisfying pop!, distilling them into a sweet, light, bubbly memory with notes of black raspberry and promise. I love Queer Eye.
When it popped up on Netflix I vaguely remembered the show from the early 2000s that I never watched because I have no taste for reality TV, so I scrolled right past it without a second thought. But when a few of my fellow teachers began singing its praises last Tuesday at an end-of-the-year celebration, I decided to check it out if for no other reason than to balance out the extremely dark, intense shows that have occupied watchlist over the last few months (Handmaid's Tale and Westworld, in case you're wondering). It's summer vacation, after all! I could use a little light. I started watching that night and was immediately hooked. My friend hadn't been exaggerating when she said she cried at least once every episode. I think I made it through all of fifteen minutes before something in that first episode rendered me sobbing happy tears. Unlike many reality shows, this show seemed to make a concerted effort to represent thoughtful dialogue and affect meaningful change in the lives of both the subjects and the hosts. Each episode culminates in both an outward and a deeply internal change within the subject. Although I have to question the longevity of these transformations, the premise is simple: people can always strive to be a better version of themselves through introspection, a supportive team, and a fresh haircut. |
AuthorNashira is a music teacher and proud Small-Town Jew who, after surthriving six years in Brooklyn for her husband's surgical residency, is finally back in Wisconsin where she belongs! At least until the end of the two-year surgical fellowship, that is. It's a wild ride, and she's ready to tell you all about it! Archives
September 2019
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